woolgathering

so i'll sleep,

until i have another nightmare

then i'll laugh, 

until i cry

i'll run away, 

until i get to nowhere

try to live, 

until i die.

.xx.

beak, brine and dirt

what a harbinger of good fortune 

you have come to be

opened my window,

and still, you've only sat upon my sill.

 there was only time for one demonstrative caress 

•

to cleanse the sore, she advised

to rinse, with warm water and salt

eyes gazing up at the ceiling

head thrown back, gargling,

i saw your face over mine

and i spit

•

playing in the front lawn

of this, i have no recollection

i was never a child

only a small woman 

waiting to get big. 

.xx.

I had a dream about being in a very brightly lit version, of a very dark bar I know in my neighborhood. I put my hand behind my back and a shady character I know in real life but a very large bag of cocaine into it and disappeared. I chased after him and gave it back. He came to me again, did the same thing, and said "It's on me." As I looked around the room I noticed every one looked so filthy, playing with these bags of white, crystalized, death. In the dream it actually sparkled. When I noticed my purse vanished, as the crowd emptied into this white hallway, I ran after the group to find a young black and white couple trying to dig through it on the low, I pulled the straps and sheepishly begged them to let go. I fell backwards tugging, my chest collapsed and I was in my bed again. 

How does one get anxiety attacks in their sleep?