22.10.10

i did however, clean my room.


i almost prayed last night.



so i wonder what happens now-


that i decided against it.

19.10.10

tyler, you're the worst thing that's ever happened to me.



i'm not in every self-portrait i take, but i am. i didn't socialize enough this summer, so fall friends get ready we're going to chill hard. and do your make-up, i have a photo wall to fill with your wonderful faces.

II.
i am a server in a local casual dining restaurant. my least favorite question is, "so what do you do?" when i'm clearly at my job. it's so looked-down upon to be a waitress; people always assume that you're just doing it to get by as something else. what do i do besides stand next to tables and pour wine? i stand around in limbo thinking of what to do next. i disappoint. i astound. sometimes, i do nothing.

III.
My sister spoke of going back to school post-college and I laughed at her. I told her I never wanted to go back to school. I may have been in junior high school at the time. Now that I'm struggling to find some sort of professional direction, all i want to do is go hole myself up in a darkroom with professors to teach me important things, internship fairs and CAREER DEVELOPMENT CENTERS. College students are idiots for the most part- which would explain why so many of my cohorts ended up bartenders or servers, and subsequently, constantly under the influence of something. Yes, that's a nice way to say it, right?

freewrite over.