"nicolas cage movies" is in my search bar.

My internet cut out when I originally wrote this post, in the wee hours of this morning.

His speech was rehearsed, or at least he was used to saying it... repeatedly. His voice cracked and the words sort of groaned out of his mouth. He barely projected, but everyone on the train heard him. It was somewhere around the third time that he asked if anyone had any food, then stated that he was not ashamed to accept it- that I began to dig around for the pile of change I'd placed in my sweater pocket before leaving for the evening. I wished that I had had a slice of sweet potato pie to give to him when I heard the coins hit the cup. He asked God to bless me and moved on.

Just before the train doors opened I saw him and couldn't help but let out a little chortle. An older white man dressed in his summer sailing whites, complete with the cap and shorts. When I boarded the car and looked at the swollen ankles of the seemingly cold passenger, I got that feeling I've had since moving back to NY: I'm so happy that I have somewhere to live. I may pass out from exhaustion on the train every-single-day, and there were those few times that spent all night sleeping on the L train and woke up in Canarsie, BUT I do not sleep there because I have to. And that's what matters most.

This year I was able to buy gifts for everyone for the first time in years. It's nice having a job and not having rent to pay. This money is definitely not disposable income, but it's the closest I've been to it in a long time.

It's 2:22 and all I ever wish for is love.

Josh and Juan came to Christmas. I was so thrilled to have to ability to welcome friends to a family event, knowing that they would be completely comfortable. Well, entertained- at the least (Mom, naturally takes care of this). My mother is the center of all gatherings- Me being an apple only overshadowed by her tree. I drank. I ate. I proved that I have poor hand-eye coordination and a flat voice during a really fun Rockband session. Wii/Xbox360 are making us a family that plays together. I hear that those stay together.



you have no right, actually.

Benjamin needs a pheasant for Orphan Christmas dinner (my friends living in NYC from various states get together and do this every year. I hear that it is full of debauchery and cheer, but alas I have a family in the local region so I have never participated). Albeit the request sounded like a joke, but I got on the phone lines regardless. After a few smile through your voice calls, I had one specially ordered courtesy of Garden of Eden UWS, available for pick up tomorrow.

Point is, I tend to make things happen. I'll keep the details to myself for now.



preparation H (it's in the bag).

This was originally penned, on actual paper on 12.15.2009 I'm never in front of my computer anymore these days.

As I prepare to spontaneously spend another night, on yet another friend's couch, I am gracious of my where-with-all to always be prepared for a slumber party... Well at least what I consider mildly prepared with this in mind I took a peak into my "party purse" (a freshly formed nickname).

The first item I spied is a pack of false eyelashes -individuals, not the strips. These are for my natural-everyday look. I save the strips for my weekend tranny extravaganzas. Second, I began to notice my plethora of hair products, my favorite of which being Wen's cleansing conditioner. This three-in-one is a life saver. As someone with hair is rather different from most of my friends' I am oft disappointed in foreign showers laden with Garnier products, only to leave the tub to find my strands' worst enemy, the blow-dryer as my only option. Having my cleansing conditioner, which also triples as a leave-in, is a must. Most recently, I also nabbed the matching volumizing finishing spray from my mother's private stock.
*other purse hair products include a container of bobby pins, aveda control paste, and mega must, shea butter smoothing serum.

The next, most important, never leave home without it item is my toothbrush. I keep one in my makeup bag, one in my purse and one at whatever house I predict I will be returning to next. (This time it is my mother's. In the past is has mainly been Jessica's.)


I don't know when the next time I might be locked out of somewhere may be, but I certainly do know that I do spend anywhere upwards of 2 hours a day on the subway, bus or walking. In that time (approx. 220 hrs a year, at an average of 5 days a week.) I must be thoroughly entertained. Besides my (dying) ipod, which is only playing in one headphone these days (unless i jiggle the wire), I have been toting around Chelsea Handler's My Horizontal Life as well as the latest copy of Antenna magazine. The latter, and well the former also, have proven to be chocked full of useful knowledge. I highly recommend both.

Usually, I have some sort of spare shirt and underwear, but as I look at my skevies drying on a doorknob, I encourage you to learn how to hand-wash your clothes, embrace Febreze, pack light and sleep tight.


I've since added some Tom's Apricot deodorant. That shit is scrumptious.