from a distance.

As I sit here, noticing the way sunflower seeds have sliced my tongue open, like tiny machetes, I also realize that this is the last time I will write anything, at this desk.

The school-desk, which I acquired on a drunken walk home months ago, will be picked up later this evening by a nice girl named Tara. I'm getting rid of the desk, as well as 5 bags of clothing, as a part of my purging for my move.

Where am I going, you ask?

First I will move my winter belongings, decorations, and artwork to my mother's house. The things that I need to make it through the summer are coming with me to Taylor's apartment for May. Then I get to take myself and my suitcase to Los Angeles for a little while, as I figure my situation out.

I'm calling it an extended vacation.

I'm going to keep packing but just so you know- I between me beginning this entry and now a man has come to pick up my school-desk. It's for his 4 year old daughter. I hope that she doesn't resent it because it makes home more like school. I hope that she appreciates her father taking the time to come and get it for her so that she has somewhere to study and do her homework at night.

These kids these day. Don't know what they got...


bike ridez

My house -> McCarren Park
There I notice someone who looks like Charles, a fellow that I met at drink and draw last week. He and his friend Drew (a girl) kidnapped me (the nude model) and we went to Billy's house. I flag Charles down. As he approaches I notice Miles walking right behind him. Conversation ensues. I agree to have a drink at Miles' bar later in the night. I go for a bike ride / walk with Charles.

MC Park -> Greenpoint
I make the correct right turn and find Brian South sitting in front of Pencil Factory with Nick and their friend Ashley. I stop to chat. They discuss drinking more tequila and then taking the ferry. I tell them of how I wish I could join their adventures, but I am on one of my own, that involves my bike.

Greenpoint -> Waterside park on N. 4th
Charles and I decide to sit by the water for a bit. I don't bump into anyone here, but I do receive a text message from Evan. I decide that I will visit her at her new-ish apartment.

Waterside Park -> Breane's Store on Havemayer
I realize that Lara might be at work, so I stop by her job. I peak in and she squeals in the way that she does. I park the bike and we have girl-talk, about boys. I suppose that was a redundant statement. I walk her home.

Lara's -> Evan's
Evan finally texts me her address and I ride over. She has a really cute one room apartment. Iggy has just gotten a haircut and looks ever-so-cute. He pounces on me, but I don't mind so much. We have a beer. I tell her my life is in shambles. I agree to join her on lesbian dance party adventures later tonight.

Evan's -> Home
Change of clothes, change of plans. I'm not going to the Pratt senior show as I had thought this morning. Instead I will go see humans being drunk, and watch them as they become living art.

If you add wrong turns, and a few detours, it looked something like this:

My legs feel like jello pudding.

it's all gonna end, gonna take all the honey, hunny

A few things, at 6:20 A.M.

I finally watched Donnie Darko last night, my 13th attempt at viewing the movie. It was long, fast then slow, full of interesting theories and lines... but I don't think I need to watch it again... Except for the sparkle magic scene.

I have an urge to hang out with people I don't know really well, to make new friends, and explore the city with this summer. Feel free to sign up in the comments section of this unread blog.

I am going to view some art today. Maybe MoMA? Maybe somewhere completely free like galleries in Chelsea? Or MAYBE, just maybe, I'll go see the Vanessa Beacroft show I was in because I think today is the last day... or maybe that was the 15th. Oops.

I got a new job at this restaurant called Mojito's, the day after getting laid off. I like to turn my life around quickly. It is small and family owned, and in walking distance to my current house. I'm hoping that I can make decent money there. In related news- I can't afford to move anymore. But I'm allowing myself to be okay with that. I'm going to haul my belonging to a storage unit for a month and save money while sleeping on couches all over the city. I hope you are all ready for my crashfest. I would like you all to take a moment to remember that one time (or possibly that one month) that my roommates and I allowed you to live on my couch.. Exactly.

Does coffee on an empty stomach give you ulcers? I hate breakfast, but I love me some empty stomach caffeine jolts.

and on that note, I will finish up this cup, put on some clothes and wander.
Good morning Bushwick.


i forgot how much fun it is.

You know when you wake up in the morning and realize today is the day that your life is going to take a hard left turn? That was me this morning.

Things to do this week:

- get a new job.
- accept being homeless.
- dream more. live big.

I'm so young and I have so much left to do.


[so much excitement and loss of clarity]