so many reasons I can't get a job.

As I've done in the past, I've decided to post another cover letter. I actually am thinking about writing them just for fun, and for your eyes. This one was for VICE. I thought I was going to lose it last week and subsequently quit my job so I started a hunt. Unfortunately my flowery tactics sometimes override my sense of professionalism... but I can't/won't change that (unless there's a lot of money involved).



To Whom It May Concern:

My name is ___________ and I’m writing in regards to your open position for Office Assistant / Receptionist. I haven’t set foot in the VICE offices since the spring of 2008 when my college internship with Virtue Worldwide came to a close. I worked under Hosi S_______, Ciel H_______ and T_______ M_______ as a project assistant. During this time I gained experience in project development, brand research, building and dissecting press-kits, in addition to the odd jobs required of my position. At the time we were working with EDUN Live, RockBand, and MTV (to name a few). I was learning so much, meeting so many people, accomplishing team goals… And then it all stopped.

After my internship ended, I graduated college, moved to Clinton Hill and got a few jobs in retail and restaurants. I tried my luck in Los Angeles (and came right back). I’m currently working at Madiba Restaurant in Fort Greene, which seats a maximum of just over 150. Being personable, organized, meticulous, and level headed is how I make money five nights a week. I spent countless Virtue-intern hours printing shipping labels. The pleasure I get from keeping other people’s lives in order might baffle Freud. I take pride in everything I do, from photocopying to photography. I’m qualified to be your Office Assistant, but most importantly, I miss the energy and attitude of VICE.

I’m trying to keep this cover letter from delving into the realm of a romantic penning, but that’s kind of how I see my work-life: as a committed relationship. I know it’s been a while, but can we have some coffee and catch up?

Attached you’ll find a copy of my resume, which also includes my contact information. My current income is approximately $xxxxx a year, and I am interested in starting with-in the upcoming months.




Thank you for your time-

Cover Letter #6 Secret Cosmetics

This cover letter actually got me an interview nxt week. Scorezone! I've removed the product names and brand for secrecy. I mean there's even more than one grammatical error in it!

Hiii Angela,

My name is Atiya, and I have a confession to make: I have an addiction...
To ----- Cream Moisturizer.
It feels really good to have gotten that off of my chest. It started a little over a year ago, when my roommate said she'd found something that would work for both of us (she has very dry skin, I'm a combo-oily-in-the-T-zone, myself). When I read your Craig's List ad in search of a new brand ambassador I realized what a match ---- and I make. I have several years of retail experience, selling everything from high-end accessories with LapSack to regular blue jeans with Levi's. Add in administrative and hospitality jobs and you get me, a person who's really seen every type of customer and still ends every exchange with a smile. At this point in my career I am interested in working for a company that examines the mark they make on communities, from their production sources to their retail locations. Companies such as your, TOM'S Shoes, and EDUN come to mind, on my list of admiration. Bring a playlist to work you say?! Are you really my dream come true ----? I support ---- products because they make my skin feel like heaven, without wreaking havoc on the environment and bunnies in the process. I hope that you will consider me for this opportunity, as I greatly look forward to hearing from your team about it! My contact information can be found on my attached resume.

Thank you for taking this time!

Best,

Atiya

Cover letter #5 House Productions and Casting.

I am quite tired of telling people who I am.

Hello,

My name is Atiya Jones and I have an insatiable desire to explore fresh paths in life. Like House Production and Casting, I am a recent transplant to L.A. from New York City. I arrived, barely one week ago, with two bags of luggage and confidence; I am building a life here, from the ground up. I graduated from Purchase College, SUNY, with a Bachelors Degree in Media & Communication. While pursing my degree, I held positions as the Assistant to Project Managers at a creative services agency: Virtue (a subsidiary of VICE magazine); an office assistant- later to be promoted to office manager; as well as maintained employment with retail stores, specializing in personalized customer services. Post-college I managed a staff of over 30 associates with Free People, as a Sales Manager. I fully encompass the word “multitask” and organization is my forte. Outside of work, I am an artist (drawing, photography and writing) and art enthusiast. I make as much time as I can to peruse galleries, see movies and create new work. I enjoy a fast-paced work environment and believe that one should never have idle-hands.

I have opened three different major retail stores, as an associate and sales manager. Each time, the experience, though always entirely separate, left me with the same thought: It simply is rewarding. Watching a space- an idea- a company- grow into fruition and firmly plant its feet on the ground, will always be a passion of mine. I hope that you allow me to join your staff, at the beginning stages of House Productions’ newest endeavor in Los Angeles.

I would like to thank you for your time, and greatly look forward to speaking with you about this role.

All the best,

Atiya Jones

Seriously. I need your help, friends. Evaluations are appreciated :)

Cover letter #4 LA Confidential

Lately, I've been writing cover letters. A lot of cover letters. I decided that I should start posting them. Maybe you'll give me some feedback and we can figure out why I don't have a job. Maybe you won't. Either way, here is the one I wrote to LA Confidential. It is a high-society, lifestyle magazine. It is the sister publication to the likes of Gotham and Ocean Drive. This one, I realize now, is too long... but I can't help it if I always have a bit too much to say:

Hello,

My name is Atiya Jones, and I am writing in regards to the available sales assistant position with LA Confidential. I have spent the majority of my life making sales- from clothing to creative services- I’ve probably pitched it. As I tend to see the positive side of everything, I would like to think that I am perfect for this opportunity. My passion for the perseverance of the magazine industry has been ignited since the promises that the advent of the web would bring print to an end, were first uttered. I am extremely detail oriented, vivacious, sociable and professional. Making and maintaining contacts is an art form, an extremely necessary one, in this city, and I am confident in my ability to do so. Though my work history has varied over the years (retail sales & management, waiting tables, hosting, etc.) all of my positions have always relied heavily on customer service and that is above all, the key to success. I am proficient in Power Point, Excel, Outlook, as well as basic HTML, Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator skills.

Niche Media Publications lend themselves to a wide variety of audiences: Those who live in the luxury, those who aspire to and the voyeurs who simply want to observe it all. I find LA Confidential to be particularly striking because it is able to update readers about socialites and celebrities, without being overtly gossip-based and intrusive upon their lives, like so many other glossies. It is classy, informative and luxurious, while maintaining an entertaining demeanor- comparable to the perfect summer soiree.

Life is indeed an unstoppable party and one must keep their guests satisfied, entertained and intrigued, to ensure their return for more, no matter what the situation may be. I am hoping that you decide to contact me about joining your guest list. For salary requirements, I would expect to start at $32,000+ roughly equating to $16 an hour.

I thank you in advance for your response.

All the best,

Atiya Jones

It was the first time I've ever had to make some sort of salary request. It felt awkward to write. I'm sure it was awkward to read.