there was a lot of dirt beneath those books that i began to lay, across my floor, when we first began. i pulled them up this evening, and the staples were just as hard to remove as they were to put in. the first few were laid out so gently, and thoughtlessly. one was from the childhood; most of the others, found. the more i started to think about pages and placement, the construction of the path, the more the voluminous the books became. their pages beginning to rise up, as if to escape. i held off for a few months, in hopes of finding the right books, that would fall open to right pages to guide me on this miniature path of knowledge. the first coincidental pages that i'd opened up to, spoke to me. telling two page, mid-story tales about love, journeys and friendship. the final books came to me in bulk, as a gift, and when i finally found the motivation, i laid them out.
but the last few fell silent. i'd anchored them down without direction, without true passion, but with desire for completion. i pulled them up today to see how easy, or difficult it would be to pull them up- to see if the staples had left their mark in my floor- to see the damage done. maybe i pulled them up because i needed to see my floor again. i had to complete the path for the satisfaction of doing so. i had to erase the path for the pleasure of starting a new one.
my stomach has been writhing about all day. it's finally settled, so i can sleep.
i think the fruit flies are returning
and i believe every creak
to be the pitter-patter of mice.
i can't tell if i'm going crazy,
or if i'm crazy
because i'm not going.
i had to fall over to find balance
i had to clean up to clear my mind.
teach me the difference.
i must know everything.
i do know everything!
this, you see has always been
a problem of mine.
a problem of mine.
a gift! a problem!
my synonymous moniker.
i'm going to build the greatest
bank of knowledge
of all time.
but I won't listen to a thing.
even when you tell me the truth.
i'm happy you came.
may i take off your shoes?
would you stay awhile?