Yesterday we waited in the rain for a friend to join us at Five Leaves. I'll rephrase, it wasn't raining, but more of a light drizzle (just enough to ruin your hair but not enough to shield yourself with an umbrella). "No I already have a smoke thanks. Can I use your light?" Exhaling the first drag I turned to him.
"I feel really full," I sighed, with that distant gaze I sometimes have. He thought I meant from brunch, and questioned what I'd had.
"No, no- I feel full. Mentally full, emotionally full, full of happiness. Full. I can't remember the last time I felt like that." We sat at our table and I continued. "For the first time in my life, I really feel like I have something to bring to the table. I'm happy, I love my house. I don't feel like a burden the way I used to. It was always something, money, emotions. I always felt like such a fucking burden."
I've never really understood how people go through their lives not feeling like a huge weight on the shoulder of their significant others, in the cases in which they actually are. Comfortable with your boyfriend/girlfriend paying for everything because you "can't find a job"? You, my friend, are a burden and should really start seeing that. Go home and work out that resume and wallet situation because supporting your broke-ass is not cute or fun, but more taxing and draining. I'm done with those people and I'm through with being that person. If your bed is a futon, AND your sheets feel like you've been sleeping in your shoes, I'm sorry I can't sleepover anymore.
But we can totally be friends.