so i'll sleep,
until i have another nightmare
then i'll laugh, 
until i cry
i'll run away, 
until i get to nowhere
try to live, 
until i die.


beak, brine and dirt

what a harbinger of good fortune 
you have come to be
opened my window,
and still, you've only sat upon my sill.
 there was only time for one demonstrative caress 
to cleanse the sore, she advised
to rinse, with warm water and salt
eyes gazing up at the ceiling
head thrown back, gargling,
i saw your face over mine
and i spit
playing in the front lawn
of this, i have no recollection
i was never a child
only a small woman 
waiting to get big. 


I had a dream about being in a very brightly lit version, of a very dark bar I know in my neighborhood. I put my hand behind my back and a shady character I know in real life but a very large bag of cocaine into it and disappeared. I chased after him and gave it back. He came to me again, did the same thing, and said "It's on me." As I looked around the room I noticed every one looked so filthy, playing with these bags of white, crystalized, death. In the dream it actually sparkled. When I noticed my purse vanished, as the crowd emptied into this white hallway, I ran after the group to find a young black and white couple trying to dig through it on the low, I pulled the straps and sheepishly begged them to let go. I fell backwards tugging, my chest collapsed and I was in my bed again. 

How does one get anxiety attacks in their sleep?

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