truthful|fictions

When you live alone, you realize how many things you do with the interests of other people in mind.

such as:

closing the door when you pee
putting on clothing
at least, putting on pants
clipping your toe nails in the bathroom
brushing your teeth as soon as you get up
holding in your farts

(Alaina, I assure you, I did not do (most) of these things. I was just thinking about them.)

i'm adding another one-

eating 5 deviled eggs in one sitting. the consequences of that show up later and can be found in the first list.