m v us

Mandana:

- Is a friend that I met through Anne. Jess and I were going to a Matt & Kim show in a empty building that was an old pizzeria in the depths of Brooklyn. I invited Anne and she invited me to meet her at her friend Mandy's apartment. The funny thing is, I didn't like Mandy because she was Anne's new best friend. I couldn't accept all of the time she was suddenly spending with Mandy. Then I met her. We danced too hard that night; I ripped my favorite (and brand new at the time) shiny pants from AA. Jess and I crashed at her place and ate Slim Jims.

- Let me live on her couch for a couple of months. We had only met once before I posted the bulletin about needed somewhere to crash during my internship at VICE (I wanted to cut the commute back). Her response was simple: I can't believe you didn't just ask me. Literally, I'd met the girl once. She also gave me keys.

- Lives on a what's mine is yours philosophy and always will. Except in a place like this, it results in people constantly taking and taking, with little or no reciprocation.

- Has been my rock at times when no one else knew how to be. (Sometimes all a lady needs is a quiet sesh, Dead Meadow, and Anytime cheeseburgers.)

- Is leaving.

It's funny, the idea of taking friendships for granted. It always blows my mind the first time one of my friends says I love you to me. It's more meaningful coming from a friend than a significant other. Friends don't tell you that they love you because they want to love your genitals (well I suppose some may, but I don't think mine really do). Friends tell you because they need to make sure you know. Plain and simple.

Last night, I called Mandy because I was having an emotional freak out and wandering around the Bedford Ave. area. As I contemplated walking to the G train to elongate my time outside rather than anxiously sitting at a train station, I dialed her number for directions. As soon as I heard her voice I started bawling. Too many things hit me at once.

I've been fantasizing about leaving NYC for quite sometime now. My junior year at Purchase, I thought about living in White Plains and working up there for a little while, to avoid this place. Yes, it's been this bad for that long. Anyway- Mandy is a big drop everything and run kind of person, and well... I'm just not. When I called her and she said she would be leaving for Florida the next day I knew things weren't going well... When she returned from her two week hitchhiking extravaganza she said she would be moving out the following weekend.

As I walked from Bedford to Lorimer to Graham to Judge, I cried because my ticket-out was leaving without me. She, for her own sanity, needs to drop everything, including me, and go.

But I will not be too far behind her.



Tomorrow is thanksgiving. This year I am thankful for the friends I love, the family I have, and the tomorrows I'm never promised but keep arriving day after day. Every morning is a fresh do-over.