oh my way to nowhere

I've made this decision to go back to being the friend to people that I used to be- five years ago. This includes, but is not limited to, following through with plans.

A few nights ago I said that I would go see Eva play her band's second show at Piano's. I agreed to this before my shift at work grew from 10-3 to 10:30-7:30. On top of the increased hours, I slept for about 3 hours last night, all of it in the REM state.

By the end of the shift I was cranky, hungry, and looking forward to coming home and making some rice to have with garlic-y goodness olive oil sauce right on top. I had already made the decision that I wasn't going to attend the show, citing hunger and sleepiness as causes for absence. After plopping on the couch in my usual fashion, Josh ordered some Papa John's for us to share and my night was progressing as I expected.

"We go on at 10. I hope you can make it."

Simple. That's all the text said and I just kept trying to answer it.
"Sorry I can't make it..." It just didn't sound right. It didn't feel right either. She has done nothing to me that would merit me flaking out on her show for no reason and that's when I got off of my ass. With 40 minutes to get there, I booked it to the LES and made with moments to spare.

It felt incredibly good to not be letting someone down, for once in a long time. John was there and we chatted for a bit. I've noticed that though I have known him for 4 years now, we've had maybe a total of 4 conversations. I told him about my latest epiphanies, concerns and goals for myself. We left the show promptly and proceeded to walk across the Williamsburgh bridge and onward to Greenpoint.

I caught a bus back to my place from there... Well sort of to my place. I realized that the 43 bus doesn't go the same route from Greenpoint as it does going there. So, I had to walk from the dangerous streets of Bed-Stuy. I arrived safely and soundly to a house still containing Papa John's (and the couch) that I had deserted hours earlier.

I feel great. I'm going to take a B-12 before bed. You know, while I still have this food in my stomach. I don't want to be full of excuses. I don't want to let anyone down. I want to be motivated again. It's already in the works for me... Tomorrow I'm hanging out with Rubio- Something I promised to do over a month ago. Maybe next week I'll go get that bottle of wine from the Foo and take my clothes out of the locker too.

But for now-
Goodnight, moon.

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